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Portrait of an Autistic Man Before He Knew He Was Either

Maxwell O'Toole

Toilet lid popping under my fat
12-year-old frame, I pretend
I’m a tree, so I can escape
the rending sensations
of dusty blow-dryer air, hot, whirring
man-sized mosquito to lance ear-

-drum, skin blistering where nipped by Dollar Tree GHD.
Its clacking,                clamping,                    pulling
jaw           shuts                tight as mine
while my mother says,
“one day you’ll love doing your hair
and look back on this
as a funny memory”.

Maxwell O’Toole compulsively creates. A disabled and trans writer/artist, he is particularly inspired by his activist work, using art to connect with himself, others, and our world. He has pieces with over a dozen publications, including UNESCO Chair, Chartium, ANMLY, FreeFall Magazine, Vellichor Literary, and Poets.ca. Maxwell lives with his partner and their cats in St. Catharines, Ontario, traditional territory of the Haudenosaunee and Anishinaabe peoples. For more information, visit @maxwellwriteswell on Instagram or maxwellwriteswell.ca.
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